Par lielām un mazām laimītēm

Šie divi atsevišķie Ziedoņa teksti tieši pareizi mijiedarbojas man tos lasot.  Lasu pirmo, domāju - nē, man tomēr ir bijušas vairākas milzīgi lielas laimes!  Nav tā, ka tādas nebūtu, bet pat lielās laimes ir tikai īslaicīgas un tad jau tiecamies pēc nākamās laimes.  Lasu otro, domāju - jā, apstirpināts!  Laimes ir visādas, un galvenais laikam neaizķerties bet turpināt plūst uz priekšu, un labi apzināties, ka ne vienmēr varam dzīvot lielos laimes mirkļos, mazās laimes arī ir zelta vērts.

Saruna ar Austri, mājas staigājot no skolas (jāzina, ka šis ir bērns kurš trakoti mīl Ziemassvētku laiku un šī mums ir ikgadēja saruna): 'Es vēlos, mamma, ka katra diena būtu Ziemassvēkti!  Dzīve būtu tiiiiik forša!'  'Bet ja katra diena būtu Ziemassvētki, tad tas vairs nebūtu nekas īpašs.  Tad mēs jau meklētu kaut ko citu īpašu un interesantu.' 'Nu labi, viena diena gadā var nebūt Ziemassvētki, bet pārējās lai būtu!' 

These two separate quotations from Ziedonis connected perfectly for me, as I read them.  Reading the first I thought - no, I *have* had big moments of happiness!  It's not that these moments don't exist, but they are short-lived and then we are already seeking out the next happiness.  Reading the second, I though - yes, exactly!  There is all kinds of happiness and I suppose the main thing is not to get stuck but to keep moving forward, and to recognize that we can't always live in the big moments of happiness, but the small moments are also golden.

A conversation with Austris, walking home from school (you must know, this is a child who loves Christmas wildly and this has now become an annual conversation): 'I wish, mom, that it would be Christmas every day! Life would be amazing!'  'But if every day were Christmas, it wouldn't be special anymore.  Then we'd be looking for other exciting and interesting things in life.' 'Ok, one day a year could not be Christmas, but the rest could be!'

And big happiness doesn't even exist.

If anyone wishes you that, then know - this is nonense.

There are only small happinesses.

There is only small everyday joy.

***

I don't need a lot - I only need a little.

Because everything big that has been, will disappear.

Only the brief moment will remain.

Lai notiek tā!