Tec, Laimīte, tu pa priekšu....

Kad viss kļūst pa daudz, es ievelkos sevī.  Kļūstu savā būtībā klusāka, mazāka, un cenšos vienkārši tikt galā ar sevi.  Ne vienu reizi vien man ir teikts, tas atstāj tādu dzestrumu un rūgtumu virmojot ap mani.  Tas, protams, nav tas, ko es vēlos panākt, bet tādas ir ārējās sekas, kad ieeju pārāk dziļi sevī.  Vienīgi atliek lūgt kaut kam lielākam par sevi nākt talkā, ieelpot atkal siltumu manā dzīves burbulītī.....

When everything feels like it's a bit too much, I retreat into myself.  I become far more quiet and smaller in my being, in an effort to just get on with myself.  I've been told more than once that this sends out a cool and bitter energy.  That, of course, is not my intent, but those are the external consequences when I burrow too far into myself.  And then, the only way forward is to ask for help from something far greater than myself, to breathe a bit of warmth back into the bubble of my life.....

Laimīte (Goddess of fate and good fortune), you go ahead,

Sprinkle kind words,

Bring forth warm feelings,

Granting a good life.

(** Language nuance discovery of the day: I always struggle to translate 'Tec, Laimīte....' and typically settle for 'go', but tecēt is really like a very light, rhythmic running - in Latvian folk dance 'teciņu solis' is a quick and measured step, and very highly linked to lightness on your feet.  This is how I've always envisioned Laima 'going'.  But google translate gave me another option this morning, which is of course, to flow, as in water flowing.  That also is such a beautiful and more deeply nuanced image for the way Laima moves.)

Lai notiek tā!

Vieglu dienas gājumiņu

 

Rīta meditācija.  Vai pie saulītes, vai pie svecītes šajā gada laikā - noskaņoties dienai gaišumā un vieglumā ir zelta vērts.  

Nesen man atplauka jauna saprašana par vārdu 'viegls'.  Bieži vien tautas dziesmās lūdzam Laimai vieglumiņu, un man tas vienmēr lasijās ka pretstats grūtumam.  Bet mēs taču zinām, ka izaugsme nāk no izaicinājumiem - nevajag visu laiku ne-grūto.  Pēkšņi es sapratu, ka viegls ir arī pretstats smagumam.  Lūdzot vieglumu darbā vai vieglu mūžu, varbūt tas nav par to, ka nebūtu izaicinājumi un viss tik ritētu gludi, bet par mūsu attieksmi - kā mēs pieejam esošam.  Vai ar smagumu, vai ar vieglumu?  

Kad izaicināju sevi skriet maratonu (nu labi, 6K - bet priekš manis jebkāda skriešana bija GRŪTA), es ātri sapratu, ka viss noskaņojas manā prātiņā.  Ja es domāju smagas domas, smagas jūtas virmos caur mani, un viss ķermenis kļūst smags - tad izaicinājums tiešām ir grūts.  Ja es domāju vieglas domas (man par palīgu nāca tauriņi, kas viegli jo viegli man lidoja blakus un rādija tieši kā to jādara), uzreiz virmoja vieglums un pēkšņi arī ķermenis klūva viegls un laimīgs.  

Tālāk ir jāpiedomā angļu valodā - ja latviski jēdzieni viegls (ne-grūts) un viegls (ne-smags) dala vienu vārdiņu, tad angliski jēdzieni viegls/light (ne-smags) un gaisma/light (ne-tumšs) dala vienu vārdiņu.  Tā man jau šie trīs jēdzieni ir saplūduši kopā, kā viena bizīte ar šķipsnām, kas visas kopā veido to 'vieglumiņu' pēc kā mēs tiecamies, balstoties uz gaišumu un ne-smagumu, kas tad padara izaicinājums ne-grūtus, bet izaugsmes pilnus!

Morning meditation.  With the sun or by candlelight this time of year - tuning oneself toward light and lightness is a golden use of time.

Recently, a new understanding of the Latvian word 'viegls' dawned on me.  Often in folk songs, we ask Laima (the goddess of fate and good fortune) for 'vieglums', to which I always attached the meaning 'easiness' or 'ease', the opposite of difficult.  But we know that growth comes from challenges - we don't need ease or easiness all the time.  Suddenly I remembers that 'viegls' also means 'light', the opposite of heavy.  When asking for 'vieglums' in our work or our fate, maybe it isn't about not wanting challenges or wishing for a completely smooth and uneventful path in life, maybe it is about our approach to life and how we regard our situation.  Am I approaching life with heaviness, or with lightness?

When I challenged myself to run a marathon (ok, it was a 6K - but absolutely any amount of running was DIFFICULT for me), I quickly understood how much 'tuning' happened in my own mind.  If I thought difficult and heavy thoughts, heavy feelings coursed through me and my whole body grew heavy - then the challenge really was hard and heavy.    If I my thoughts grew lighter (and I was lucky enough to have butterflies come to my aid as teachers, fluttering along beside me showing me exactly how to envelop myself in lightness), I instantly felt the lightness course through me and my body followed suit, growing light and joyful.  

Further, I considered the connections of words in English.  If in Latvian easiness (not difficult) and lightness (not heaviness) share one word, then in English the concept of light (not heavy) and light (not dark) share one word.  So these three concepts have flowed together into one for me, like a braid with three strands, that form the notion of 'vieglums' that we are striving for, rooted in lightness (not darkness and not heaviness), making challenges light (not heavy and not unreasonably difficult), but sources of growth! 

I stood in the early morning

Turning toward the sun,

So that the sun would give me

VIEGLUMS (lightness and lightness!) for the day's journey.

Lai notiek tā!

Rokas darba nebijās...

 

Katru mīļu reizi!  Ne tikai rokas padara, bet kaut kāda brīnišķīga izaugsme vai atklāsme klāt dāvanā!

Every sweet time!  Not only do I get the job done, but some incredible growth or insight is bestowed as a gift through the work.  

My eyes were terrified of the work,

My hands were unafraid of work;

My hands were unafraid of work,

And KNEW through doing.

Lai notiek tā!

Zeme Ūdens Gaiss Uguns

 

Kad trūkst spēka, palūkojos dabā, ielūkojos sevī un viss saslēdzās....

When I'm low on strength, I look out into nature, look inward into myself, and it all flows full circle.

The earth is my body

Water is blood

Air is my breath

And fire is my spirit

Lai notiek tā!

Līdz man dziemsu vācelīte!

 

Mmmmmmm..... kas par skaistu atgādinājumu, ka es - un TIKAI es! - lemju kādu noskaņu es pievienošu jebkurai situācijai.

What a beautiful reminder that I - and ONLY I! - determine what energy/mood (direct translation: what 'tuning') I contribute to any and every situation.  One of my favorite quotes: 'You are responsible for the energy you bring into this space!'  

Wherever I may go,

I always bring my dowry of songs.

If someone has dark words for me,

I always answer in song.

Lai notiek tā!

Kur spēku gūt?

 

Aktuāls jautājums manā draugu lokā šobrīd.  Pieļauju mēs neesam vienīgie, ņemot vērā visu, kas šobrīd virmo pasaulē.  Apstiprinājums vienmēr uzrodas, ka spēks atrodas sevī pašā.  Es mūžīgi dzenos, atklāt labākās veidas iedarbināt šo iekšējo spēku, bet Rainis mani ir nolicis vietā ar savu komentāru par sasisto trauku.  Izrādās, es pavisam ačgārni pieeju šim jautājumam.... Laiks pieiet no jauna leņķa!

Where to acquire strength?  A pressing question among my circle of friends at the moment.  I suspect we aren't the only ones, taking into consideration all that is pulsing through the world right now.  The confirmation always appears - the strength lies within each of us.  I am relentlessly chasing down better ways to access this inner strength, but Rainis put me in my place with this commentary about the broken vessel.  It turns out I've been approaching the question backwards...  Time to approach this from a new angle!

The Broken Vessel

You ask me, where to acquire strength?

It lies within you and it cracks within you.

You've battered your own vessel -

Like water that's been dumped out, life flows out of you,

The fields are getting wet but not quenched

And in the hot sand it evaporates quickly.

Why are you asking, where to acquire strength?-

While your vessel suffocates.

Lai notiekt tā!

Tā jau dzīve....

 

Līdzsvarot sevi, ejot pa dzīves virvi....  To tikai var panākt ar mieru, bez saspringšanas.... Jūtu, ka vēl arvien pārāk bieži saspringstu....  Ļaujies......

Balancing yourself, walking life's tightrope..... It's only possible with peace, without tension..... I feel I still tense up rather often......  Surrender...... (with the essence of allowing and flowing..... a mindful, trustful softness.......)

That is, but of course, life - night and day,

That is, but of course, laime (happiness/fortune/fate) - joy and pain,

Don't avoid either of them,

Ascending the steps of your day.

Lai notiek tā!

Katras dienas sākums...

Jā, jā un jā!  Šī diena, šis mirklis ir vienreizīgs un neatkārtojams.  Vai es savus rītus uzsāku ar pietiekoši lielu cieņu un bijību?  Vai es eju vai es EJU pretīm katrai jaunai dienai?  Vai es pārslīdu pa virsu vai nirstu iekšā?

Yes, yes and yes!  This day, this moment is one-of-a-kind and unrepeatable.  Do I start my mornings with enough respect and reverence?  Do I go or do I GO toward every new day?  Do I skim the surface or do I dive in?

The new beginning of each day,

With the perspiration of dawn falling on our windows,

Is an unprecedented coming,

Something that will never repeat, not even tomorrow.

Lai notiek tā!

Dzīvot - tik gaiši, tik klusi.....

Saredzēt sevi dabā un dabu sevī, tā ir latviska dzīvošana.  Kāda es esmu?  Kāda es vēlos būt?

To see yourself reflected in nature and nature reflected in yourself, that is living through the Latvian lens.  What am I like?  What do I wish to be like?

To live - as full of light and as quietly,

As a blossoming flower does,

As a needle, fallen from a green fir tree - 

As wisely, as patiently, as tirelessly....

Lai notiek tā!